When we think of managing stress, we usually think about things like meditation or breathing exercises. But it turns out that how you think about stress is actually more important than the stress itself. In this post, Dr. Stracks shares how embracing and learning from stress can make a huge difference in its effects on your life and gives tips for a mindset intervention to help you make that shift.

Managing Stress

The American Psychological Association surveys Americans every year to determine the amount of stress in people’s lives. In the most recent report, over half of all Americans report feeling stressed during the day. 

In her wonderful book, The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D., talks about how, as a health psychologist, for years she lectured audiences as to the danger of stress and how to avoid it. She told them to practice deep breathing, develop relaxation strategies, not bite off more than they could chew, and to do anything they could to reduce the amount of stress in their lives. While that is certainly good advice on one level, this is the 21st century. Stress is a part of life, so it’s not going away anytime soon.

In 2012, though, Dr. McGonigal read a study that fundamentally changed the way she looked at and spoke about stress. A group of researchers had surveyed 30,000 adults fourteen years earlier as to their feelings about stress and how much stress they had in their lives the previous year. Those researchers found that, indeed, those who were under more stress had died at a higher rate than those with less stress, but only if they believed that stress was bad for them. Those who had high stress but believed that stress is a part of life and is to be learned from, enjoyed, and used to their advantage actually had lower rates of death over that same time period. The conclusion of the study was that the problems associated with high stress had just as much to do with belief as with the actual stress itself.

There are likely several reasons for the finding in that study, but it turns out that our beliefs in general can actually influence our health. People who believe that life is hard get sick more often than those who don’t. People who believe that pain is inevitable have higher levels of pain. Believing that people are inherently good improves people health as well. The mechanism by which this happens is not completely clear, but, as humans, when we feel overwhelmed we tend to turn to unhealthy behaviors. Telling people that stress is unhealthy may very well cause people to act in unhealthy ways!

The type of intervention that leverages this knowledge is known as a mindset intervention, and mindset interventions have been shown repeatedly to have dramatic and long-lasting effects on people’s health. In one study, freshman college students who were told that stress is a part of adapting to college, but that it would get better over time. They were also read statements from upperclassmen who had experienced that. By the time the group in the experiment graduated, their GPAs were significantly higher than students who were not in the experiment. (https://www.wiseinterventions.org/posters/learning-about-developing-your-intelligence-and-understanding-transitions-to-college-as-normal-and-temporary-increased-full-time-enrollment-among-minorities-and-first-generation-college-students)

In another study, freshman at a low-income high school were told that their circumstances could change, that their ability to adapt to difficult circumstances could get better over time, and they also read excerpts from upperclassmen who had first-hand experience with that type of change. In the study, 81% of the students passed freshman algebra as opposed to 58% of a control group. The intervention itself lasted 30 minutes, but the results held over months and months. Though the results of these studies seem almost too good to be true, study after study after study shows similar outcomes.

According to Dr. McGonigal, mindset interventions have three components to them:

1) understanding the new point of view,

2) trying an exercise that helps clarify the new mindset, and then

3) figuring out how to share the new idea with other people.

In that spirit, I’ll offer a mindset intervention for you to help learn to deal with stress better as opposed to the yoga or meditation that you were expecting. And to be clear, I’m not opposed in any way shape or form to yoga and meditation. Both of those and other relaxation strategies are extremely helpful for overall health. However, when it comes to thinking about stress, changing mindset is even more effective.

To learn to embrace stress and the anxiety that comes with it:

  • Know when you feel the signs of stress and anxiety that your body is not trying to sabotage you. Stress is not bad, nor is anxiety. It’s your body’s way of working to provide extra energy to meet a task and not just any task, but a task that is important to you.

  • It’s important to keep in mind that what you’re trying to accomplish is very, very unlikely to be life-threatening. Keep in mind that failure is ok and would not be catastrophic even if it happened. Remembering this makes it easier to embrace the challenge.

  • The fact that you feel stress actually means that your body is excited about the possible outcome and what might change. Congratulate yourself for putting yourself in a position where what you do matters to you. You’re nearing a goal and you care about it. That’s good!

  • See if you can shift your focus away from “I hate this” over to “Wow, my body’s pumping out extra blood and energy. What am I going to do with extra energy that will help me get nearer to my goal? I may have extra energy, extra focus, and extra passion. I can use all of those in service of where I’m trying to get.”

  • Then, be clear with yourself what you will use that extra energy, extra focus, and extra passion for. Remember your goals, use the adrenaline to move toward your goals and don’t get caught spinning around and not getting anything done that moves you forward.

  • Remember, stress is not inherently bad for you; it only becomes an issue if you believe that it’s an issue.

Dr. McGonigal’s book spells all this out more in significant detail, and I highly recommend reading the entire work for a more in-depth discussion about the science of stress and what helps people learn to deal with it more effectively.


If you’re experiencing high levels of stress and want more support seeing your situation in a different light, contact us through our website or by calling us at 312-489-8890 to set up an appointment with Dr. Stracks, Michelle Grim, or one of our therapists and coaches.

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Tips for a Healthier You: Countering Negative Thoughts